Breaking in New Shoes

It's rainy season now on the California central coast, and Andy still wants to wear his sandals to his charter program (two days a week).  I've let him make his own decisions regarding clothing, footwear, etc. without too much interference since discovering unschooling.  Sometimes I offer information, or suggest he go outside himself and check the weather.

Today I was in a gnarly mood, and I bluntly told him that sandal season was over, and that socks and shoes would protect his feet better from the rain.  Did he want to have wet feet?

He told me that his new shoes hurt his feet, which was why he wanted to wear sandals.  Without thinking, I impatiently informed him that all new shoes have to be broken in.  I said that after a time or two of wearing them, his feet would adjust, and the shoes would start to feel more comfortable.  I suggested he wear band-aids on his heels to help.  With my tone and manner, I made it clear he didn't have much of a choice, so he complied and put on his new shoes.

Thinking about it now, several thoughts were swirling through my head.   First, Katie was crying, and I was in a hurry to get out the door.  Next, I was more concerned about what the teacher and other parents would think of him wearing sandals than his own comfort.  Third, I felt angry that his new shoes would go to waste because he wasn't willing to deal with some discomfort.  Finally, I wanted him to submit to my authority and experience of having worn shoes for 37 years.  I knew better, dammit!

Of course, now I'm questioning myself.  Do all new shoes have to be broken in, really?  Is this true?  Perhaps it's just my feet, or the shoes I've bought... and if I think carefully about it, not all new pairs of shoes have bothered my feet at first. Perhaps the shoes that hurt at first were really not so great for my feet, after all.  Or perhaps there are ways to "break shoes in" without having to wear them all day.  Perhaps there's a gentler way.  And how could I forget that I just finished reading Born to Run, which questioned the safety and efficacy of the modern running shoe, and advocated a return to barefoot running?

By telling my son my experience of the world, assuming that his experience would be the same, and expecting him to comply, I deprived him of a chance to learn and discover on his own.  Our experience this morning certainly didn't empower him.  And it left me feeling frustrated.

If he comes home today with hurt feet, he might be angry at me for forcing him to wear new shoes.  I certainly don't want to be the target of his anger, and I certainly don't want to force him to do things that cause him pain.

I love that unschooling has led me to reflect about my assumptions about how the world works, especially those beliefs about enduring a certain amount of pain/discomfort...because that's just the way it's always been.

Here's an article with some tips about breaking in new shoes:
http://www.healingfeet.com/blog/foot-care/how-to-break-in-new-shoes